Single White Female
by Cathain Nottingham
Summary: [Finale!] Jack and Sam decide to end their Romance War and begin a romance while another war brews.
1. Single White Female

Title: Single White Female  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Spoilers: None  
  
Season: Six  
  
Summary: Sam regrets a decision while Jack reads the personals.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 or it's characters just barrowing for entertainment purposes. I also don't own "Single White Female" by Chely Wright I only own the plot.  
  
Author's Note: It just hit me! Yet another country song fic! Just more random brain fluff.  
  
Key:   
  
~ Sam's thoughts  
  
// Jack's thoughts  
  
----------------------------------  
  
Sam sat by herself on one side of the Commissary, eagerly awaiting her CO's arrival for his traditional Fruit Loops with milk and coffee. For the past six years he always opened his morning, when SG-1 was on base, with a bowl of cereal, a cup of coffee and the Personals. That's right, Sam caught him about a year into her assignment to SG-1, reading the Personals section of the local newspaper. He said it was to make him realize that no matter how insane his life was there were still people in the world crazier than he was.  
  
~I can't believe I actually did this, I mean what was I thinking! This was by far the worst idea that I, Samantha Carter, astrophysicist genius, has ever, in the history of my life, come up with!~  
  
Just then Colonel Jack O'Neill strutted into the room, cutting the line to grab his cereal before heading to his usual table, strategically placed on the opposite side of the room from Sam, just the way she planned it. He took a few bites of his cereal before opening the paper and flipping to the Personals.  
  
~Here goes nothing.~  
  
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Jack happily played in his rainbow of artificially flavored wheat circles before opening the local paper to his favorite section, the Personals.  
  
Skipping over the first few boxes since they were repeated from the week before, an extremely large box caught his eye.   
  
//I thought you had to pay by the letter with these things, who would make such a big want ad? Who knows, whoever they are they're probably going to make my day.//  
  
As Jack began reading he became so startled that he sucked in a mouthful of Fruit Loops and gagged. The words before him in black and white were too strange.  
  
~I know that every morning you go thumbing   
  
Though the personal want ads  
  
You grab the latest copy, a cup of coffee   
  
And settle in for a good laugh  
  
I've been trying to catch your eye but I'm so shy   
  
I'm hoping and praying that   
  
Today's edition is gonna catch your attention   
  
'Cause there's a  
  
Single white female  
  
Looking for that special lover  
  
To put it a nut shell   
  
A one-woman man who doesn't want no other  
  
Oh, you never can tell   
  
She might just be your dream come true   
  
A single white female  
  
Is looking for a man like you  
  
Yeah, I'm a little nervous I'm not sure if I shoulda put it in writing  
  
It might have been a little reckless, a little desperate   
  
But I think I did the right thing  
  
I couldn't go on living keep it hidden  
  
So I'm telling you everything  
  
It's my confession I hope you get the message.~  
  
-----------------------------  
  
~Oh God, he's reading it. Bad idea Carter! Bad idea!~  
  
To get the full effect, Sam actually pinched herself under the table, but she pinched herself much harder than she meant to because as her fingers found a piece of her thigh Jack looked across the crowded room, passed all of the air men half blocking his line of vision and right into her blue eyes.  
  
~This is worse than I thought! How in the hell does he know it was me?~  
  
Deciding to play it cool, Sam forced her legs to stand. She grabbed her tray and walked towards the exit, right where Jack was sitting. She noticed how his eyes never left her on her journey.   
  
~Stay cool Carter.~  
  
Sam walked right up to Jack and glanced down at the paper, grinning the entire time, "Find anything interesting sir?"  
  
But before he could answer she walked over and threw her trash away and walked out the door.   
  
~YES! Go Carter!~  
  
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//YES! Go me!//  
  
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After Thought: Like it...hate it, please review and let me know! 


	2. When I Look Into Your Heart

Title: When I Look Into Your Heart  
  
Rating: PG   
  
Spoilers: "Divide and Conquer" Season Four  
  
Season: Six  
  
Summary: Jack decides to tell Sam what he thinks of her heart.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 or it's characters just barrowing for entertainment purposes. I also have no rights to Fruit Loops or Vince Gill's "When I look Into Your Heart", I'm just barrowing I only own the plot.  
  
Author's Note: I got so many wonderful reviews of people wanting a sequel that I sat down and wrote it! It took a different turn than what I had originally thought but I hope you still like it.  
  
Key:   
  
~ Sam's thoughts  
  
// Jack's thoughts  
  
----------------------------------  
  
Sam walked down one of the corridors to her lab on the nineteenth sublevel with a grin on her face.   
  
~I can do no wrong. Nothing can bother me right now. I am the queen of the world.~  
  
She had been able to get to the elevator and leave the twenty-second floor before her CO had been able to relieve himself of his shock and catch up with her. So now, she gloated. Every person she passed, she nodded towards them without loosing her grin, which she knew, she would probably regret later when the rumor mill started spinning around how "Major Carter was seen grinning after leaving Colonel O'Neill's quarters" or whatever else someone came up with but for now, she was content.   
  
----------------------------------  
  
//Okay, so Carter likes me. I knew that. I've known that. But she put her feelings in writing, well kind of but still...//  
  
Jack sat in deep thought as he played with his Fruit Loops, deciding it was against his better judgment to read any of the other personal ads. He spun his spoon though the now rainbow colored milk trying to think of an idea. He had to show Sam that he still cared for her and now it was definitely more than he was supposed to.   
  
//Aww, what a time for my mind to go blank, well it's blank most of the time but...damn it O'Neill focus!//  
  
Just then two of the younger nurses walked by chatting to each other about some country award show in which Vince Gill was going to host and it hit him like a ton of bricks. He jumped up as quickly as his knees would allow and threw away the remaining soggy cereal as he headed for the closest office he could think of.  
  
----------------------------------  
  
Sam pushed herself in a full circle in her chair before settling down at her keyboard, signing-on to her computer and opening her e-mail directory but before her eyes got to the first on the list Janet caught her attention.  
  
"Well somebody's in a good mood." The petite brunette grinned as she came in and took a seat on one of the barstools.  
  
Sam grinned and handed her a copy of the personal ads, eagerly awaiting her best friend's reaction.  
  
"Oh my God Sam! You're kidding me right!" Janet gasped with laughter as she read the ad.  
  
Sam shook her head but never lost her smile, "Nope. And wait until I tell you what I did after he figured out it was me..."  
  
----------------------------------  
  
"Jonas! I need to barrow your computer; the weather isn't going to change too drastically in the next few minutes okay? Promise." Jack ordered as he walked into the jovial alien's lab.   
  
"What? Huh?" Jonas asked looking up from his computer screen. He glanced at Teal'c as Jack shooed him from his seat but the stoic alien gave him no sign of understanding. "May I ask why?"  
  
Jack shot him a look as he signed into his own e-mail account and logged into the Internet, "I need to get back at Carter okay?"  
  
This earned Teal'c another confused look by Jonas but this time the larger alien nodded in understanding, "Either Major Carter and O'Neill have begun a competition or Major Carter has done something that O'Neill now feels guilty for and is now attempting to rectify."  
  
Jonas nodded, now understanding as he turned back to Jack, "So what did she do?"   
  
Jack's hands quickly ran over the keyboard as he attempted to find what he was looking for, "I can't tell you."  
  
"You can't tell us or you won't?" Jonas pried. He had been a member of SG-1 long enough to know his boundaries, which always seemed to be expanding.   
  
Jack rolled his eyes, "I can't."   
  
Jonas exchanged a glance with Teal'c before grinning, knowing his teammates past history, "It's something to do with the Zatarc test."  
  
"I concur Jonas Quinn." Teal'c nodded.  
  
"Oh for crying out loud! Will you guys not do that! It's creepy." Jack sighed loudly as he tossed Jonas his cell phone. "Will you call that radio station that Carter always listens to when she's working?"  
  
Jonas glanced from Jack to Teal'c and down to the cell phone but he began dialing the number, he figured it was in his best interest.  
  
----------------------------------  
  
"You are so bad Sam!" Janet laughed as she tossed the article at her friend, who was already laughing. The pair quieted as Sam's computer made a chime signaling she just received an e-mail.  
  
"Look at this, I just got an e-mail from "Thor's Buddy"." Sam grinned as she and Janet exchanged a look, Janet could figure out the sender's identity on her own.  
  
"Well what does it say?" Janet asked as she came around the desk to see.  
  
"Okay, it says turn on your radio." Sam said as she reached over to flick on the small tabletop radio she generally used to keep her company while she was working.   
  
"Oh look, you just got one from Jonas." Janet said pointing at the screen but she stopped as she heard what Sam was hearing from the radio.  
  
'Okay folks we just got a request by Thor to Jean he says that the song should explain all and that song is Vince Gill's duet with Amy Grant, "When I Look Into Your Heart", so here it goes.' The DJ said as a song began.  
  
"He used your middle name?" Janet asked with a fuddled look on her face as Sam opened the latest e-mail. Inside contained the lyrics of the song.  
  
//When I look into your heart  
  
I see us holding each other  
  
I can finally see forever  
  
When I look into your heart  
  
I've seen the moon dance on the waters  
  
Watched the morning sun slip though the trees  
  
But the sight of you is the vision  
  
That takes me to my knees ;P  
  
When I look into your heart  
  
I see us holding each other  
  
I can finally see forever  
  
When I look into your heart  
  
I've never known such comfort  
  
I've never felt such release  
  
I've never felt so connected  
  
I've never known such peace  
  
When I look into your heart  
  
I see us holding each other  
  
I can finally see forever  
  
When I look into your heart  
  
I can finally see forever  
  
When I look into your heart//  
  
Sam didn't know what to do say when suddenly another e-mail flashed up, this one from "Thor's Buddy" again. It read, "Hear anything interesting recently?"  
  
~Damn him, he used Jonas' e-mail address to confuse me.~  
  
"Oh, that's the way you want to play it huh?" Sam grinned as she logged onto the Internet and typed in "Romantic lyrics" on a search engine.  
  
~It's war.~  
  
----------------------------------  
  
//This is war.//  
  
----------------------------------  
  
After Thought: Well, was it was good as the first? Yes or no, please review and let me know! (Oh no! I'm rhyming!) I'll do another if enough people want me too:) 


	3. Any Man Of Mine

Title: Any Man Of Mine  
  
Rating: PG   
  
Spoilers: "The Broca Divide" Season One (Mentioned)  
  
Season: Six  
  
Summary: Sam strikes the first blow in her new romance war.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 or it's characters just barrowing for entertainment purposes. I also have no rights to Shania Twain's "Any Man Of Mine", I'm just barrowing, I only own the plot.  
  
Author's Note: The war has begun! I hope everyone likes this one as much as they seemed to enjoy the last two chapters.  
  
Key:   
  
~ Sam's thoughts  
  
// Jack's thoughts  
  
---------------------------  
  
Sam grinned as she stood outside of what would soon become the first battle site of her newly declared war. She had gotten off of work a few minutes early so she could arrive and plot her attack.  
  
~Oh Mr. O'Neill you will fall.~  
  
"Sam, if you're done playing the evil villain from a bad action movie can we *please* go inside? It's freezing out here." Janet asked as her teeth clattered together.  
  
"Sure let's go." Sam said, her grin widening as she and Janet headed into O'Malley's.  
  
---------------------------  
  
"So you boys got anything planned for tonight?" Jack asked as he twirled his yo-yo in a circle. The motion only briefly caught Jonas' eye before he went back to his world wide weather web site and it didn't catch Teal'c's at all.  
  
"We have nothing planned O'Neill." Teal'c said, never taking his eyes off of the magazine he was reading.  
  
"Geez, what a couple of sad sacks." Jack said re-rolling his yo-yo string. "What do you say to a round at O'Malley's?"   
  
"Sure." Both aliens replied without looking away from their projects. Jack took one more glance at his teammates before walking out the door.  
  
//Geez I need to teach them to show some enthusiasm.//   
  
After Jack left, Jonas glanced away from his computer screen and looked at Teal'c, "What did he call us?"  
  
---------------------------  
  
"Sam, are you sure you want to go through with this? I mean this is far fetched and that's saying a lot in our line of work." Janet asked as she sipped her drink watching Sam walk across the small makeshift stage at O'Malley's.  
  
"It's not like I'm going to have to sing Janet." Sam said as she stopped pacing.  
  
"Sam, honey, think about this plan of yours. You are going to get up in front of everyone in this bar to lip-synch a song to Jack and you came up with that plan without even being drunk." Janet said as she took yet another sip of her drink.  
  
"Janet I need to do something that will top anything Jack can do so that I can win." Sam grinned her evil grin again as she watched her friend finish her second drink.  
  
"Sam, this started out of you wanting to tell Jack that you had feelings for him, then when he did it back you suddenly went insane and now this is a war." Janet said as she began to feel the effects of her drinks.  
  
"Janet think about it, if I let Jack have something over me he'll never let me live it down. I mean he still brings up the virus situation around P3X797 and as he likes to call it, my "tank-top number"." Sam said as she jumped down from the stage.   
  
"Well what do you expect? It's Jack." Janet asked as she ordered a third drink.   
  
"You say that with distain but I do believe that one of the first things out of your mouth when we discussed him for the first time was how much you enjoyed giving him shots." Sam answered sitting down next to her friend.   
  
Janet glanced at her with a clear look of confusion on her face and Sam suppressed a grin, "You said and I quote 'I love giving that man shots, he's got the tightest butt of anyone on the mountain, which is my preferable place to give them to him.'"  
  
"Oh please, that is out of context and besides I was drunk." Janet said sipping her new drink.   
  
"Sure Jan, whatever you say. I want to run though the show one more time." Sam grinned as she walked away.  
  
~It's just not fair she's seen his butt and I haven't.~  
  
---------------------------  
  
"Come on boys! Let's have ourselves some fun." Jack grinned as he waved to Jonas and Teal'c from the door of O'Malley's.  
  
Jonas and Teal'c headed towards their beckoning teammate but something caught Jonas' eye, "Teal'c isn't that Sam's car?"  
  
Teal'c glanced over his shoulder at the car in question before looking down at Jonas, "There are many people who drive that particular car Jonas Quinn."  
  
Jonas glanced up at Teal'c, "Well if Jack invited us, why wouldn't he invite Sam? I mean we're teammates right?"  
  
"According to O'Neill, he and Major Carter are currently doing battle." Teal'c replied as he adjusted his bucket hat.  
  
"Why are they fighting? I mean I know it's over the whole romantic song thing but if they're in love and they've both done something romantic, why are they suddenly competing?"  
  
"I believe the Tauri call such behavior flirting." Teal'c answered as he headed inside, leaving Jonas to figure out the rest on his own.  
  
Once inside Jack, Teal'c and Jonas found a nice corner booth and settled in for a long night of whatever came their way, which was started by a round of drinks courtesy of Jack. Jonas took a few sips of his beer before his heightened Kelownan eyes caught the sight of a short brunette at the bar and he excused himself.  
  
//Geez, what is it about that boy that is just odd...other than everything?//  
  
"So Teal'c..." Jack began as he sipped his beer, "Do you know any really good romantic songs?"  
  
Teal'c looked at his friend in his all-knowing manner and a small smile played at his lips, "I am not doing battle with Major Carter."  
  
"Aw come on Teal'c! You know she's got the Doc helping her find songs!" Jack complained.  
  
"But I am not Doctor Fraiser." Teal'c replied.  
  
"But you could be *my* Doctor Fraiser." Jack said, his eyes glinting.  
  
"I do not think so O'Neill. I would not look acceptable in white lab coats." Teal'c answered.  
  
"Aw Teal'c this is not the time for your jokes!" Jack growled, angrier with himself for encouraging his friend to get a sense of humor but Teal'c just grinned at him.  
  
---------------------------  
  
"So..." Jonas whispered into Janet's ear as he sat down next to the petite woman, "What does Sam have planned for Jack now?"  
  
Janet jumped slightly as she turned around to find Jonas' ever grinning face grinning. "I can't say."   
  
Jonas noticed that Janet's voice was slightly slurred and her posture betrayed her, "Janet how many drinks have you had?"  
  
Janet eyed the younger man as she sipped the drink in her hand, "This is my fourth."  
  
"How long have you been here?" Jonas grinned.  
  
"Since Sam and I got off of work." Janet replied.  
  
Jonas glanced down at his watch, remembering that he saw Sam sneak into an elevator at four-fifty and since it was now five-twenty he surmised that the kind doctor had had one to many.  
  
"Do you mind if I sit here?" Jonas asked as he slid the drink from Janet's hand.  
  
"Hey!" she cried rather indignantly as she pawed at Jonas' arm to give it back.  
  
"Bartender, can we have two waters over here please?" Jonas asked as he handed the bartender Janet's drink.  
  
"That was mine." Janet huffed as Jonas held out a glass of water to her.  
  
"You'll thank me tomorrow." Jonas grinned as the doctor gave up her struggle and drank some water. Then suddenly she leaned over and put her head on his shoulder, snuggling in as she looked at the makeshift stage.  
  
"Look at the stage Jonas, it's almost time." She murmured.   
  
"Janet? What was in those drinks?"  
  
---------------------------  
  
Sam stood behind the small curtain that kept her from the bright lights of the stage as she waited for her cue. Picking up the small shot glass on the table next to her she slammed it back just as one of the bartenders got up onto the stage to announce her little show.  
  
~Don't even think about it Carter, just do it, you'll have all the time you need to imagine how stupid you look later, right now it's all about beating Jack. Here goes nothing.~  
  
Sam's music started and she stepped out onto the stage.  
  
---------------------------  
  
Teal'c grin had grown into a full-on smile as Jack continued to beg his friend for help when suddenly a bartender climbed up onto the makeshift stage across from them and pulled Jack's attention away from him.  
  
"Ladies and gentleman, it is O'Malley's proud honor to present a special show to you tonight. Without further ado, Samantha Carter!"  
  
//You have got to be kidding me; this has to be a different Samantha Carter. This *can't* be *my* Carter.//  
  
Jack's chocolate brown eyes were locked onto the stage and his mouth slid open when sure enough, his Samantha Carter stepped out from nowhere holding a microphone in hand. She was wearing tight blue jeans with black leather boots and a tight baby blue shirt that she had tucked inside of the jeans. But none of that was a bigger shock than when music started playing and Jack realized what this was.  
  
//Damn her! She probably did all this to top me but it isn't going to be that easy. I'll think of something.//  
  
Jack watched her intently as she began to sing to the song.  
  
This is what a woman wants...  
  
Any man of mine better be proud of me  
  
Even when I'm ugly he still better love me  
  
And I can be late for a date that's fine   
  
But he better be on time  
  
Any man of mine'll say it fits just right  
  
When last year's dress is just a little too tight  
  
And anything I do or say better be okay  
  
When I have a bad hair day  
  
And if I change my mind  
  
A million times  
  
I wanna hear him say  
  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I like it that way  
  
Any man of mine better walk the line   
  
Better show me a teasin' squeezin' pleasin' kinda time  
  
I need a man who knows, how the story goes  
  
He's gotta be a heartbeatin' fine treatin'  
  
Breathtakin' earthquakin' kind  
  
Any man of mine  
  
Well any man of mine better disagree   
  
When I say another woman's lookin' better than me  
  
And when I cook him dinner and I burn it black  
  
He better say, mmmm, I like it that yeah  
  
Jack was completely spellbound as his 2IC continued her "show" he watched intently while the back of his mind already began plans of revenge.  
  
//True, this is going to be a tough one to top, but I can think of something.//  
  
---------------------------  
  
Jonas sat wide-eyed at the show, ever so often pulling his gaze away from Sam to glance at Janet who was grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Anything you wish to share?"  
  
"Oh, it's just something Sam said about Colonel O'Neill's butt." Janet said as she waved her hand dismissively at him. Jonas turned back to the show, filing that bit of information away for later.   
  
---------------------------  
  
The song ended and Sam did a bow or two before she got off of the stage and headed over to the bar. She grabbed a napkin and scribbled something down before calling over a bartender and ordering two beers to be delivered along with the note to Jack's table. She positioned herself just right so he wouldn't be able to see her but she could see him when the drinks were delivered.   
  
---------------------------  
  
Jack eyed the bartender curiously as he set down two new beers, "We didn't order these."  
  
"I know, sir, but someone else paid for them and asked that they be delivered to this table along with this." The bartender replied handing the note to Jack before he walked away.  
  
Jack opened the napkin to see the words, "See any good shows lately?" scribbled on it. He crumpled the paper and glanced around for Sam but he couldn't find her.  
  
---------------------------  
  
~Ha! I got him.~  
  
---------------------------  
  
//She thinks she's got me but all she did was up the stakes.//   
  
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After Thought: Good, bad or ugly? Please review and let me know! Also if you have any song ideas I would love to hear them. Thank you. 


	4. Real Good Man

Title: Real Good Man  
  
Rating: PG   
  
Spoilers: None  
  
Season: Six  
  
Summary: Jack tries to get even but he gets busted instead.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 or it's characters just barrowing for entertainment purposes. I also have no rights to Tim McGraw's "Real Good Man", I'm just barrowing, I only own the plot.  
  
Author's Note: Well, here's the next part! I hope everyone likes it:) I won't continue unless people want more, so please review.  
  
Special Thanks: A special thanks goes to Plaidtiger for come up with the idea for the song! Thanks to everyone else who sent in songs, I'm using as many as I can:)  
  
Key:   
  
~ Sam's thoughts  
  
// Jack's thoughts  
  
---------------------------  
  
Sam watched Jonas escort Janet into her house from her car, since Cassie was at a sleepover, there was no one home to play witness to the events. Janet was still three sheets to the wind so Jonas offered to take her inside and put her to bed, he made some lame joke of how Sam needed to rest after her performance.   
  
~He's such a gentleman, only if Janet would realize it.~  
  
A few moments later Jonas came jogging down the walkway and climbed into the car next to Sam, "Okay, she's in bed with a glass of water on the bed stand. I closed the blinds and left two aspirins on the bed stand for her tomorrow morning. Is that good enough?"  
  
Sam grinned, Jonas looked like a worried, overprotective mother leaving her child away at college for the first night, "Yeah, that's perfect Jonas."  
  
Sam started her car and pulled out of Janet's driveway, "Thanks for driving me back to the base Sam."  
  
"No problem." Sam shrugged and the car fell into silence. Jonas was tempted to say something about what Janet told him but decided that it was against his best judgment.  
  
~I wonder what Jonas is smiling about...~  
  
---------------------------  
  
//Geez, that woman has guts. I just need to think of something that she can't top.//  
  
"O'Neill, do you believe it wise that Jonas Quinn left with Major Carter?" Teal'c asked, breaking the silence that had previously hung in the truck.  
  
"I'm not talking to you." Jack answered, never looking away from the road.  
  
"Because I will not become your Doctor Fraiser?" Teal'c asked, slightly amused.  
  
"Aw, please..." Jack begged.  
  
"No." Teal'c answered, turning his head to look out of the windshield with a grin on his face.  
  
"That's just wrong T." Jack pouted.   
  
"I disagree." Teal'c responded, still grinning.  
  
Jack pulled to a stop in the SGC garage, "Okay so you won't help me find songs, fine but at least give me an idea or two."  
  
"If I give you one idea O'Neill, will you no longer pester me?" Teal'c asked.  
  
"Yes please buddy, anything." Jack agreed.   
  
"I will return." Teal'c said as he headed to the nearest elevator. Sure enough Teal'c returned several minutes later. He walked over to Jack's side of the car and held out a CD case. "I believe this will be of assistance O'Neill."  
  
Jack took the CD and glanced at it, "Tim McGraw? Teal'c how is this supposed to help..."  
  
"O'Neill, I believe that song thirteen will be beneficial to you're battle with Major Carter. Good night." Teal'c responded as he walked back to the elevator. Jack opened the case and slid the CD into his car's player, setting it to play the thirteenth song. When it came on, Jack grinned.  
  
//I *will* win this war.//  
  
---------------------------  
  
Sam pulled her car into the SGC garage just as Jack was pulling out. They caught each other's eyes and Jack nodded towards her, "Major."  
  
"Sir." Sam nodded back; she held his eyes until he pulled away. She pulled her car to a stop and Jonas unbuckled his seatbelt.  
  
"Thank you for the ride home Sam." He grinned.  
  
"You're welcome Jonas. See you tomorrow." Sam grinned back as the fair-haired alien climbed out of her car and headed towards the elevator.   
  
---------------------------  
  
Jack walked down one of the corridors of the SGC the next morning with a huge grin on his face. He couldn't help it; by the end of the day he would have won the war. There was no way that Sam was going to be able to top what he had in mind. He grinned and nodded to everyone he passed and walked as if he were on cloud nine, which just added to the rumor mill of the SGC but he didn't care, it wouldn't compare to what he was planning.  
  
---------------------------  
  
Sam arrived to the SGC early and was surprised to find Jack's truck already parked, with no sign that he was sleeping in it.  
  
~Interesting...~  
  
Sam headed to her lab first, going through her regular routine. First she checked her mail, which, as usual, held nothing interesting, next her e-mail which, again, held nothing of interest before grabbing herself a cup of coffee and heading to Janet's office.  
  
"Jan? Are you in?" Sam asked as she opened her friend's office door to find no lights on.  
  
"Don't turn on the lights." Janet's voice called from inside of her office. Sam did as she was told and walked in, finding herself a chair.  
  
"Not feeling well?" Sam asked.   
  
"Well actually I'm feeling quite well considering." Janet sighed as she flicked on her desk light.  
  
"That would probably be because of Jonas." Sam said as she gave her friend her cup of coffee.  
  
"Jonas? Why?" Janet yawned before sipping her steaming cup of caffeine.   
  
"He caught you at the bar last night, stopped you from drinking and even put you to bed." Sam answered.  
  
"He did what?" Janet jumped out of her seat, but grabbed the desk, still shaky.   
  
"I think he likes you." Sam grinned mischievously at her friend.  
  
Before Janet could reply the PA system clicked on and caught her attention. Sam listened carefully too, listening to hear if something went wrong, which was generally the reason why the PA system was used, but instead of General Hammond's slight drawl or some technician's voice an all to familiar one rang.  
  
"Hello ladies and gentlemen for your entertainment here is a little ditty," the voice said.  
  
Sam gave Janet a panicked look, "That's the Colonel."  
  
Just then music began playing and Sam could feel her cheeks flush.  
  
~How am I going to get him back for this?~  
  
//Girl, you've never known no one like me  
  
Up there in your high society  
  
They might tell you I'm no good  
  
Girl they need to understand  
  
Just who I am  
  
I may be a real bad boy   
  
But baby I'm a real good man  
  
I may drink too much and play too loud  
  
Hang out with a rough and rowdy crowd  
  
That don't mean I don't respect  
  
My mama or my Uncle Sam  
  
Yes sir, yes ma'am  
  
I may be a real bad boy   
  
But baby I'm a real good man  
  
Might have a reckless streak  
  
At least a country mile wide  
  
If you're gonna run with me  
  
It's gonna be a wild ride  
  
When it comes to lovin' you  
  
I've got velvet hands  
  
I'll show you how a real bad boy  
  
Can be a real good man  
  
I'll take all the good times I can get  
  
I'm too young for growing up just yet  
  
Ain't much I can promise you  
  
Except to do the best I can//  
  
---------------------------  
  
Jack grinned as the song ended, there was no way that Sam would be able to beat him now. Just as his mind shifted to happy thoughts the door flung open to reveal a very, *very* angry General Hammond.  
  
"COLONEL O'NEILL! What in the HELL do you think you're doing!?" General Hammond yelled.  
  
"Uh...good morning sir?" Jack stuttered as General Hammond slammed the door behind himself.  
  
//Aw geez, I'm in for it.//  
  
---------------------------  
  
~He is so in for it, I'll get him.~  
  
---------------------------  
  
After Thought: Well? What did you think? I must have rewritten this chapter three times so I hope you like the finished product. I know what I want to do for the next chapter but I won't write it unless people want it, so please review. 


	5. Natural Woman

Title: Natural Woman  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Spoilers: "The Broca Divide" Season One (Mentioned)  
  
Season: Six  
  
Summary: Sam decides a little off world revenge is best for Jack but she faces consequences when he returns home.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 or it's characters just barrowing for entertainment purposes. I also have no rights to the song "(You Make Me Feel Like A) Natural Woman", I'm just barrowing, I only own the plot and Vi'kar.  
  
Author's Note: A major thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I hope this one lives up to everyone's expectations.   
  
Key:   
  
~ Sam's thoughts  
  
// Jack's thoughts  
  
---------------------------  
  
Sam knocked twice on the men's locker room door and waited for a response. The last time she just walked into the room she caught Jack in nothing but his towel, but then again she had been trying to mate with him.  
  
~How is it that no matter what I do all of my thoughts go back to that virus?~  
  
Finally the door opened to reveal a very confused looking Jonas Quinn.  
  
"Hey Jonas, is Colonel O'Neill inside?" Sam asked sweetly enough but ended up getting an odd look from a passing Airman.  
  
"Yeah, sure Sam." Jonas answered as he opened the door wider. He was already fully dressed for their mission that was to take place shortly. He walked out into the hall, followed closely by Teal'c. "Just tell him that we're going to be in the Embarkation room okay?"  
  
"Sure guys." Sam grinned as the boys headed down the hall towards an elevator before she walked into the men's locker room and closed the door behind herself.  
  
"Carter?" Jack asked, slightly surprised to find his 2IC standing a few feet from him.  
  
"Sir, I wanted to make sure you're still allowed to go on today's scheduled mission." Sam said, somehow able to keep the smile off of her face and out of her voice.  
  
"Yes Carter. I am going on today's mission because I am the leader of SG-1 and I go on every mission, when I am not hurt, have a snake in the brain or am stuck in Washington D.C." Jack answered rather indignantly.  
  
"I know that, sir, I just wasn't sure after your...your "performance" yesterday, that General Hammond would let you..." Sam tried her best to explain herself while at the same time rubbing in the fact that Jack got caught.  
  
"Carter! Stop while you're ahead. Go meet up with Jonas and Teal'c in the Gate room, I'll be up in a few." Jack ordered, figuring out his 2IC was just rubbing in his "capture" the day before after his little stunt with the PA system.  
  
"Yes sir." Sam answered hardly military though; she was gloating.  
  
Sam walked to the door, grinning like a Cheshire cat the second her back turned on Jack.  
  
~He's not going to know what hit him after I'm done.~  
  
---------------------------  
  
Jack finished pulling on his gear in the silence of the locker room, trying his best not to let his blonde bombshell's words get to him. But like most of the things that his mind told himself to do, he ignored them.  
  
//Carter's a good girl; I mean she has a feisty streak in her, yes, but she's not stupid. She would never do anything like I did yesterday so obviously, she would *never* do anything off world. Yeah, just keep telling yourself that Jack.//  
  
Jack pulled on his baseball hat and walked to the door, still trying to convince himself he was safe for the day. After he stepped off of the elevator and headed into the Embarkation room to join his three team members a new idea struck him.  
  
//Carter won't try anything; we're going to see the Tok'ra but more importantly, her daddy. She wouldn't dare embarrass herself in front of him.//  
  
Jack grinned knowingly at Sam.  
  
//I've got you figured out babe.//  
  
---------------------------  
  
Sam watched Jack grin at her and smiled inwardly at herself.  
  
~He probably thinks he's got my plan figured out. Poor, poor pitiful Jack.~  
  
---------------------------  
  
Suddenly General Hammond's drawl rang though the room, pulling both Jack and Sam from their trances.  
  
"SG-1, you have a go."  
  
Jonas and Teal'c headed up the ramp first and Jack did a slight bow, "Ladies first."  
  
"Thank you sir." Sam nodded at her commanding officer as she walked up behind the boys, Jack following behind her.  
  
//And what a great behind it is.//  
  
---------------------------  
  
Sam rematerialized on the other side of the wormhole to find her father's smile awaiting her.  
  
"Sammie." He grinned holding his arms out wide for a hug.  
  
"Dad." Sam grinned back embracing her father before stepping back and watching Jack come though the Event Horizon.  
  
"Jacob." Jack said with his usual nod of the head.  
  
"Jack." Jacob said back just as plainly.   
  
"Dad, there was something that I wanted to talk to you about before we began helping with the talks." Sam said watching her father rather than her CO.  
  
"Okay Sam. Jack, Teal'c and Jonas why don't you follow Vi'kar, he'll show you the way to the conference room." Jacob said motioning to the Tok'ra standing nearby.  
  
Sam put her arm around her father's back as she walked him down a separate corridor. Jack could faintly see her hand him something before he disappeared down his own corridor.  
  
---------------------------  
  
Several hours into the talks SG-1 received a call from the SGC asking for Sam to return home to help Sergeant Siler with a repair to which she dutifully agreed.  
  
"It was good seeing you again Dad." Sam smiled a bittersweet smile as she hugged her father.  
  
"You too Sammie." Jacob responded before Sam let go and nodded to her CO.  
  
"I'll return when I'm done sir." Sam said.  
  
"No need Carter." Jack responded quickly. "We're almost done here, we'll probably be back home before you're done."  
  
"Okay sir." Sam said, waving one last farewell to her dad before stepping though the Event Horizon.   
  
"Well, let's get back to work." Jack said as he and the company of the remaining SG-1 members and Tok'ra headed back to the conference room.  
  
---------------------------  
  
//I don't think my mind has ever been as numb as it is now. Jonas is generally intrigued; as is Teal'c and now I don't even have Carter around to fantasize about.//  
  
"Jack is this boring you?" Jacob's strong voice suddenly cut into Jack's ramblings.  
  
"Yes...no...wait what was the question?" Jack asked suddenly snapping out of his trance.  
  
"We're done." Jonas whispered from across the table.   
  
Jack quickly glanced at Teal'c who nodded in agreement with his young friend before hopping up to his feet. "Okay then."   
  
"Jonas and Teal'c, Vi'kar will show you back to the Stargate. Jack and I will be along in a moment." Jacob said, much to the dismay of Jack.  
  
Jonas and Teal'c exchanged looks but didn't bother saying anything; they both just followed Vi'kar out of the room, leaving Jack and Jacob alone.  
  
"Jack." Jacob said watching the colonel's brown eyes dart around in nervousness.  
  
"Jacob." Jack said trying to shake Jacob's piercing gaze.   
  
"I was told to play this for you before you left." Jacob said pulling a Walkman and portable mini-speakers out of his robes and placing them on the table.  
  
//Aww, geez what is this?//  
  
Jacob pushed play and stepped back, slightly eager to see the show himself. He was rather surprised to find several piano keys ring from the speakers but he was even more surprised by Jack's reaction, a droop in his shoulders and a noisy sigh.  
  
//How did I know she would pull something? How, how, how?//  
  
Jack listened to the song carefully.  
  
~Looking out on the morning rain  
  
I used to feel so uninspired  
  
And when I knew I had to face another day  
  
Lord it made me feel so tired  
  
Before the day I met you life was so unkind  
  
But you're the key to my peace of mind  
  
'Cause you make me feel  
  
You make me feel  
  
You make me feel like  
  
A natural woman  
  
When my soul was in the lost and found  
  
You came along to claim it  
  
I didn't know just what was wrong with me  
  
'Till you're kiss helped me name it  
  
Now I'm no longer doubtful of what I'm living for  
  
'Cuz if I make you happy I don't need to do more  
  
'Cause you make me feel  
  
You make me feel  
  
You make me feel like  
  
A natural woman  
  
Oh baby what you done to me  
  
You make me feel so good inside  
  
I just want to be close to you  
  
You make me feel so alive  
  
'Cause you make me feel  
  
You make me feel  
  
You make me feel like  
  
A natural woman~  
  
Jack half grinned at himself, she was good but he just thought of something better. Turning around he found Jacob's solemn face staring at him.  
  
//Oh no.//  
  
"Jack, do you care to explain to me why my daughter asked me to play you this song?" Jacob asked.  
  
"Uh...no?" Jack answered with a grin.  
  
"Sit." Jacob ordered.  
  
//Oh no.//  
  
---------------------------  
  
Sam watched as Jonas, Teal'c and a very weary Jack walked down the ramp from the Stargate. She grinned openly as her CO looked up to catch her but she didn't mind.  
  
~Score a point for me.~  
  
---------------------------  
  
//Gloat all you want Miss Carter, I already have my revenge planned and you won't be grinning then. You're in trouble.//  
  
---------------------------  
  
~Oh no. He's grinning back. I'm in trouble.~  
  
---------------------------  
  
After Thought: Well? What did you think? I only have two more chapters planned but I won't bother writing them unless people want to read them, so please review! 


	6. Samantha

Title: Samantha  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Spoilers: None  
  
Season: Six  
  
Summary: Jack brings the war to a more personal place in Sam's life.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 or it's characters just barrowing for entertainment purposes. I also have no rights to the song "I Love You, Samantha" or Josh Groban's music, I'm just barrowing. I only own the plot.  
  
Author's Note: Well the newest part! I hope everyone likes it. And a huge thanks to everyone who has helped and inspired me thus far, which is basically everyone who has reviewed. Thank you.  
  
Special Thanks: Two special thanks for this chapter; the first goes to Rachael (rach0486) for e-mailing me the "theme" song for this chapter! It is to perfect for words:) Thank you for always giving me inspiration. And the second goes to Macisgate for giving me the serenading idea, which worked better than my original idea for this chapter, so thank you for the idea!  
  
Key:   
  
~ Sam's thoughts  
  
// Jack's thoughts  
  
---------------------------  
  
Sam walked down the lead corridor to the infirmary with a rather quick gait. She ignored the looks from passing Airmen and focused completely on where she was going and on what she was thinking.  
  
~I can't believe I'm letting him get to me! I *know* that he's going to get me back, before I had been confident in my choice of venues but now, that look he gave me...it still gives me chills. He's going to get me back and he's going to get me back big time.~  
  
Sam turned and walked into the infirmary, making a quick survey of the room she failed to notice her friend so she turned into her office, "Jan?"  
  
Janet looked up from a small pile of paper work and grinned at her friend, "I'm in here Sam."  
  
Sam walked completely into the office and closed the door. She sat down in one of the chairs, "Are you almost done?"  
  
"Not all of us are so lucky as to get the weekend off." Janet said unenthusiastically.  
  
"You mean General Hammond didn't give you it off too?" Sam asked picking up a paperclip from the edge of the desk and playing with it.  
  
"He did, I just want to get though all of this before I head home. Sam, what's bothering you?" Janet asked as she watched her friend twiddle the paperclip between her fingers.  
  
"Did you hear what I did to the Colonel?" Sam asked in a hushed voice.  
  
"All I know is that he was upset by the time he arrived at the Stargate but wouldn't say a word to Teal'c or to Jonas." Janet answered.   
  
~This is worse than I thought...~  
  
"I think it was because of me." Sam admitted, putting the paperclip down.  
  
"How? Oh...you didn't." Janet said, realizing what her friend had done.  
  
"I did, right in front of my dad." Sam explained.  
  
"Now you're afraid to go home?" Janet asked with a grin, which was accompanied with a half sigh.  
  
"Yep." Sam said standing. "It's no big deal though, it's going to take him some time to figure out a payback so I should be safe for now. Call me when you get home tonight okay?"  
  
"Okay." Janet nodded as her friend walked out of her office. She waited a few moments before picking up her phone and dialing a number by heart. "Hello Jonas? It's Janet; I think we need to have a talk. Yes, my thoughts exactly. Okay get Teal'c and meet me in my office in fifteen minutes. Bye."  
  
---------------------------  
  
Jack marched down a corridor to an elevator grumbling to himself, completely ignoring everyone around him. It wasn't so much Sam's move that was bothering him but getting stuck explaining what was going on to her father.   
  
//I doubt she's ever tried to explain a war where romantic songs are like bombs to a Tok'ra and I *know* she wouldn't dare try and explain that to her father! Oh, she will rue the day she ever put the ad in the newspaper.//  
  
Jack had to do everything in his power not to run to his truck after arriving in the garage. He had a plan; one that Sam wouldn't be able to top. He needed a good portable stereo and an MP3 on his computer at home burned onto a blank CD.   
  
//The war will be won *tonight*.//  
  
---------------------------  
  
Sam arrived home and went to work making herself the best bath possible. Water so hot it was just this side of burning, a touch of a beautiful lilac bath oil that Jonas had given her after his first time shopping in a mall, no lights, just candles and one of her favorite CDs, Josh Groban's self titled debut. Slipping into the wonderfully warm water Sam relaxed, closing her eyes and allowing all of her tensed muscles to loosen and work out their knots.  
  
~It's at times like this when I wish someone was here to give me a backrub.~   
  
Sam soaked until the water began to cool, rather than reheating she climbed out and drained the tub. Pulling on a nice, soft terrycloth robe, Sam walked into her bedroom and glanced at her alarm clock, it's electronic digits read nine-thirty.   
  
~Oops, I didn't mean to spend that much time in the tub...but oh well. At least I feel better.~  
  
Sam headed to the closet when a soft ping caught her attention, followed by several other pings. She followed the noise to her window and pulled it open. She glanced around but found nothing. That's when her keen eyes spotted something out of place on her lawn.  
  
~A stereo?~  
  
Suddenly the small, out-of-place electronic device began playing music, Sam tilted her head, recognizing the tune but it was the brief moment right before the singer began that she recognized it. It was also in that moment that her CO stepped out from behind the single tree with large white pieces of poster board in his hands.  
  
---------------------------  
  
//Here goes nothing.//  
  
Jack stepped out of his temporary hiding place to look up and find Sam staring at him from her perch in her window. The CD began playing and he dropped the first blank poster board in time to show her the lyrics of the first line of the song, catching the rhythm he showed her all of the lyrics.  
  
//I love you Samantha  
  
And my love will never die  
  
Remember Samantha  
  
I'm a one-girl guy  
  
  
  
Together Samantha  
  
We could ride a star and ride it high  
  
Remember Samantha  
  
I'm a one-girl guy  
  
  
  
And if some distant day  
  
You decided to say  
  
Get along, go away, goodbye  
  
Remember Samantha  
  
I'm a one-girl guy  
  
  
  
Remember Samantha  
  
I'm a one-girl guy//  
  
Jack grinned a sweet smile to his beloved from his spot on her lawn.  
  
//I love you Sam.//  
  
---------------------------  
  
Sam returned Jack's grin as she discreetly wiped a tear from her eye.  
  
~I love you Jack.~  
  
---------------------------  
  
Janet smiled as she hung up the phone in her kitchen. She turned to her teenaged daughter who was looking strangely at her.   
  
"Tomorrow, all of this will be over."  
  
---------------------------  
  
Jonas turned to Teal'c after hanging up the phone in his office, "Well it's all set for tomorrow."  
  
Teal'c nodded, understanding his smaller alien counterpart, "We are going to karaoke."   
  
---------------------------  
  
After Thought: What did you think? A little hint there at the end:) Only one part left! Please everyone review this part! The more reviews I get the sooner the finale will be written and posted! 


	7. Come What May

Title: Come What May  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Spoilers: None  
  
Season: Six  
  
Summary: Jack and Sam decide to end their Romance War and begin a romance while another war brews.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 or it's characters just barrowing for entertainment purposes. I also have no rights to the songs "Come What May" "Fever" or "When A Man Loves A Woman", I'm just barrowing. I only own the plot and the club "Paper Moon".  
  
Author's Note: The finale! I hope this one lives up to everyone's expectations. And thanks to everyone who's helped this series get 100+ reviews! Yay!  
  
Special Thanks: Many thanks for this chapter! Rachael (rach0486) for the main plot idea and for the idea of "Come What May" I can always count on you for ideas:) The Female Apophis for sending me the idea for "Fever" and for also always having some type of idea to share:) And last but not least, Plaidtiger for a whole list of songs when I got stuck, you're by far my go to girl when I need a song, thank you.   
  
Key:   
  
~ Sam's thoughts  
  
// Jack's thoughts  
  
---------------------------  
  
Sam awoke with the big smile on her face and the best feeling in her heart. After a fantastic night of wonderful dreams, which she figured were mostly inspired by Jack's performance the night before, she knew nothing could go wrong.   
  
~I can't believe I feel this way. I mean I've heard of natural highs but God! I guess this is how it feels to be head over heels in love with someone and to know they feel the same way. I could get really used to this.~  
  
The sound of her telephone ringing ripped Sam out of her introspect and she scrambled from her tousled bed sheets to pick it up before the answering machine. "Hello?"  
  
"Hi Sam." Janet's voice carried cheerfully from the receiver.  
  
  
  
"Hi Jan, what's going on?" Sam asked slightly startled by her friend's cheerful demeanor.  
  
"Well I just realized that I forgot to call you last night." Janet answered.  
  
"Oh, it's no big deal. I forgot too." Sam said, her mind shifting back to her CO's serenade.   
  
"Well I was hoping that I could make it up to you, say a day of pampering at a salon?" Janet asked, still cheerful.  
  
"Jan, you don't have to do that, really it's no big deal." Sam said, concern for her friend now growing.   
  
"I want to, besides I've been planning this for a few weeks. I wanted it to be a surprise. Come on, please?" Janet begged from her side of the phone.  
  
Sam sighed, she knew her friend was up to something but she just didn't know what.  
  
~Only one way to find out I guess.~  
  
"Okay, sure." Sam agreed.   
  
"Great, I'll come by in say...twenty minutes to get you?" Janet asked.  
  
"Okay. See you then Jan." Sam replied.  
  
"Bye Sam." Janet said before hanging up the phone.  
  
---------------------------  
  
Janet quickly picked her phone back up and dialed the same number that had become more frequently used by her in the past few days. "Hi Jonas, have you called Jack yet?"  
  
"Hi Janet. Teal'c is doing it now." Jonas replied as he watched his large, alien friend dial Jack with a cell phone.  
  
"Good morning O'Neill." Teal'c said as he gave Jonas a thumbs up.  
  
Jonas turned back to his own conversation, "If Teal'c can't get him to do it, no one can, don't worry about it."  
  
"Perfect. I'll call you later on my cell." Janet grinned.  
  
"Okay, just call my cell since we'll be out." Jonas replied.  
  
"You got it. Bye Jonas." Janet said as she mentally noted to herself to call his cell.  
  
"Bye Janet." Jonas said back.  
  
---------------------------  
  
Jack had been curled up in his nice, warm thermal blankets when the annoying buzz of the phone by his bed sounded. Lazily he pulled his arms free of the warm, inviting bed sheets and reached for the offensive noisemaker while images of he and Sam faded from his mind.  
  
//A night of Sam filled dreams and someone goes and spoils it. Figures.//  
  
"O'Neill." Jack said rather harshly into the phone, hoping to frighten whoever dare bug him.  
  
"Good morning O'Neill." Teal'c deep voice rang though the receiver.   
  
Jack sighed heavily as he shifted his position to a more comfortable one, "Morning T."  
  
"Did I awake you?" Teal'c asked, sounding rather playful for the stoic man he usual was.  
  
"No Teal'c you didn't." Jack answered sarcastically.  
  
"Good for Jonas Quinn and I are going to be arriving at your residence shortly." Teal'c said.  
  
"What?" Jack asked, suddenly awaking completely.  
  
"Jonas Quinn and I are going to be..." Teal'c began to repeat himself.  
  
"I heard that, what are you coming over here *for*?" Jack rephrased, not wanting to get a headache already.  
  
"Jonas Quinn and I have decided a day of recreation for us. He is quite excited." Teal'c answered.  
  
Jack rolled back onto the bed, rolling his eyes, "There's no way of getting out of this is there?"   
  
"No O'Neill." Teal'c answered.  
  
"See you in a few then." Jack said, admitting defeat.  
  
"We will be there shortly O'Neill." Teal'c said before hanging up.  
  
"Great." Jack said to no one as he hung up the phone.  
  
---------------------------  
  
Janet had been right when she said that there would be pampering. Sam was amazed when her friend had explained the outlook for the day. First a massage, followed by a facial, manicure and pedicure and then hair treatment. Though Sam wasn't exactly complaining.   
  
~I know she's up to something, but as long as all of this is on her I'm not too sure I care.~  
  
Halfway though their hair treatment, Janet excused herself, slinking out of Sam's hearing range while she dialed someone on her cell phone.  
  
"Jonas? Where are you?" Janet whispered.  
  
---------------------------  
  
"Hey Janet, we're at the skating rink." Jonas said as he skidded to a stop on his skates.  
  
"You're keeping the Colonel entertained then?" Janet asked over the phone.  
  
"Yep, I think he suspects something though. How's your mission going?" Jonas asked, checking over his shoulder to find Jack and Teal'c skating at the other end of the rink.  
  
"She's suspicious too, after we're done here I'm going to bring her over there, get her settled and have a few drinks, loosen her up." Janet answered.  
  
"Okay, I'll call before we head over. Talk to you soon." Jonas said as Jack headed his way.  
  
"Bye." Janet said before hanging up and walking back towards Sam. "Hey Sam, I have an idea for where we can go next..."  
  
---------------------------  
  
"Hey Jonas...what are you doing?" Jack asked curiously as he skated up to the alien.   
  
"Oh, just answering a call." Jonas replied.  
  
"Who was it?" Jack asked.   
  
"Wrong number." Jonas grinned.   
  
"Oh." Jack said before skating off.  
  
//The boy who smiles at anything that he hasn't done before even smiles when he lies.//  
  
---------------------------  
  
"Oh no Janet." Sam said adamantly as she crossed her arms.  
  
"Come on Sam." Janet coxed as she grabbed Sam's arm and attempted to drag her inside of the Paper Moon karaoke club.  
  
"Janet! No!" Sam said pulling from her friend's grip.  
  
"Sam I'm not asking you to sing, all I'm asking is that we go in and have a good laugh. Come on...please?" Janet asked putting on a sad face.  
  
Sam sighed, looking up at the bright neon sign, which would be turned on soon since the sun was setting rapidly.  
  
~I'm going to regret this.~  
  
"Okay." Sam said, defeated as she followed Janet inside.  
  
The pair settled down at a table right in front which was far too big for just two. Janet ordered some fancy alcoholic drink that, by the looks of the picture, would have Sam driving home, while she ordered a beer.  
  
The pair watched as at least a half dozen people with too much to drink stumbled onto the stage to belt out a horrible rendition of any song they could think of. After about twenty minutes and the end of Janet's drink, she climbed up on stage and began to pick a song.  
  
"Janet! Janet get down here." Sam growled from their table, not sure if she could contain herself if her friend actually ended up singing but Janet just waved her off.  
  
"Hello." Janet said as she picked up the microphone. "I would like to dedicate this song to a certain co-worker..."  
  
---------------------------  
  
Teal'c and Jonas dragged Jack into the bar, ignoring his physical resistance.  
  
//I knew this day was going to be a bad idea!//  
  
Once inside, they let their eyes settle onto the dim glow from the neon lights. And to everyone's surprise they found a familiar brunette on-stage.  
  
"Isn't that Doc Frasier?" Jack asked as Jonas walked towards the stage.  
  
"I believe it is O'Neill." Teal'c replied as they followed. Jonas suddenly stopped at a table near the stage and as Jack and Teal'c approached they could make out the occupant.   
  
"Carter?" Jack asked as he walked up.  
  
"Hi sir." Sam nodded offering him the chair next to her as Jonas sat down, staring whole-heartedly at the stage.  
  
"Do you have a feeling that this was planned?" Jack asked his 2IC.  
  
"Just a little one." Sam nodded as Teal'c sat down next to Jack.  
  
"Good evening Major Carter." Teal'c nodded.  
  
"Hi Teal'c." Sam said.  
  
Suddenly all of the bar fell quiet as the music started up, catching the attention SG-1 as they watched their co-worker set herself up to make a fool of herself.  
  
"Never know how much I love you, never know how much I care  
  
When you put your arms around me, I get a fever that's so hard to bear  
  
You give me fever - when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight  
  
Fever - in the morning, fever all though the night  
  
Sun lights up the daytime, moon lights up the night  
  
I light up when you call my name, and you know I'm gonna treat you right  
  
You give me fever - when you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight  
  
Fever - in the morning, fever all though the night  
  
Everybody's got the fever, that is something you all know  
  
Fever isn't such a new thing, fever started long ago  
  
Romeo loved Juliet, Juliet she felt the same  
  
When he puts his arms around her, he said "Julie baby you're my flame"  
  
Thou givest fever, when we kisseth, fever with thy flaming youth  
  
Fever - I'm afire, fever yea I burn forsooth  
  
Captain Smith and Pocahontas had a very mad affair  
  
When her Daddy tried to kill him, she said "Daddy-O don't you dare"  
  
Give me fever - with his kisses, fever when he holds me tight  
  
Fever - I'm his Missus, oh daddy don't you treat him right  
  
Now you've listened to my story, here's the point I made:  
  
Chicks were born to give you fever, be it Fahrenheit or Centigrade  
  
They give you fever - when you kiss them, fever if you live and learn  
  
Fever - till you sizzle, what a lovely way to burn  
  
What a lovely way to burn  
  
What a lovely way to burn."  
  
Everyone at the SG-1 table was shocked to hear Janet belt out the sultry song with an equally sultry voice.  
  
"Not half bad." Jack shrugged as he ordered himself a beer but on the other side of the table Jonas was still enthralled.  
  
Janet slinked down the stairs and ordered herself another drink while Jonas still watched her. Sam nudged Jack and motioned for him to look over at their new lovebirds. And the pair exchanged a smirk.   
  
//Been there...but I guess we're now here.//  
  
Jack turned to make eye contact with Sam; the outer most edge of her blue eyes was a darker shade than the rest of her iris he noted.   
  
//Whoa there Jackie boy...//  
  
Suddenly Janet stirring around the other side of the table pulled his attention over to her. She sat up in her chair as straight as she could, which wasn't too bad since her drink had yet to really sink in yet, "Okay now Jonas, Teal'c and I have brought you here for a reason."  
  
Jack and Sam exchanged glances again before turning back to their friends, neither liked where this was going.  
  
"We have taken the liberty to choose a song that benefits both Major Carter and you, O'Neill." Teal'c chimed it.  
  
"And we want you to sing it." Jonas said rounding out their plan.  
  
"Sing?" Sam and Jack asked simultaneously.  
  
"Sing." The other three echoed.  
  
Sam and Jack exchanged glances, both reading the other's eyes.  
  
~Well it could be worse...~  
  
//A duet with Sam? Do they think that's punishment?//  
  
"Why are you doing this?" Jack asked before answering their initial statement.  
  
"We want the war over with." Janet replied, getting hearty nods from her alien accomplices.  
  
Jack exchanged glances with Sam again; a slow, small smile crept up her face, one that he soon mirrored in return.  
  
"What do you say Miss Carter? A duet for the final showdown?" Jack asked.  
  
"I think that's the only fair tactic." Sam answered.  
  
Jack stood quickly, extending his hand to Sam, who took it and allowed Jack to help her to her feet. They walked onto the stage, watching only each other instead of the crowd. Jonas quickly signaled one of the workers who had been in on the plan to begin the song.   
  
The houselights dimmed and stage lights brightened as Sam and Jack each picked up a microphone and glanced out over the audience before looking quickly at each other and then the screen.  
  
The word "Him" scrolled up first so Jack was up, he watched the screen intently, his voice catching itself, getting ready to sing.  
  
"Never knew I could feel like this  
  
Like I've never seen the sky before  
  
I want to vanish inside your kiss  
  
Everyday, I love you more and more  
  
Listen to your heart  
  
Can you hear it sing?  
  
Telling me to give you everything!  
  
Seasons may change, winter to spring  
  
But I love you  
  
Till the end of time  
  
Come what may!  
  
Come what may!  
  
I will love you, until my dying day!"  
  
Jack's voice carried throughout the bar during his second verse, it was surprisingly on key and soulful.   
  
The word "Her" scrolled up after Jack's last line and Sam prepped herself, her palms a bit sweaty and her heart beating a mile a minute, her voice already humming, getting her on key before she opened her mouth.  
  
~Here I go...~  
  
"Suddenly the world is such a perfect place,  
  
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace..."  
  
Sam was thankful for the "Both" that scrolled next, giving her voice extra time to warm up and hopefully be drowned out by Jack's.  
  
"Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste!"  
  
Sam watched as another "Her" scrolled, her voice now leveling out to sound angelic and the perfect complement to Jack's.  
  
"It all revolves around you."  
  
The next "Both" scrolled up quickly and Sam watched Jack out of the corner of her eye to see him getting ready to really belt so she set herself up to match him.  
  
"And there's no mountain too high  
  
No river too wide  
  
Sing out this song   
  
And I'll be there by your side  
  
Storm clouds may gather and storms may collide  
  
But I love you until the end of time!  
  
Come what may!  
  
Come what may!  
  
I will love you until my dying day!  
  
Oh, come what may!  
  
Come what may!  
  
I will love you until my dying day!"  
  
Jack reached out and grasped Sam's hand during the last little verse, that was after they made eye contact during the "Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side" line. Sam grinned at him as another "Her" line approached.  
  
"Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place."  
  
Squeezing each other's hand, Sam and Jack locked eyes as the final verse approached.  
  
"Come what may!  
  
Come what may!  
  
I will love you until my dying day!"  
  
The crowd erupted into an upsurge of woops; hollers and applause as Jack bent over and chastely kissed Sam on her lip-glossed lips, a motion that she returned as she cupped his face in her hand and slowly drew it down his neck and chest. The pair turned and bowed before walking down the stairs and back to their front row table.   
  
Sam and Jack took their seats among their goofily grinning friends and laughed their pink cheeks off, all the while holding hands under the table and out of sight.   
  
---------------------------  
  
The group spent the next several hours laughing, drinking and joking amongst each other. After a fruitless attempt to get Teal'c to sing, though the group did get a promise for the next time they visited, which had everyone in agreement to come again, Jack decided to take a moment to speak to Sam.  
  
"Listen Sam, when we get back to the base I think you, George and I are long overdue for a talk. We don't have to say anything's happened but I feel it's about time to tell George that either something be done about the regs or I'm retiring." Jack whispered to her.  
  
"I've waited six years to hear you say that Jack and I think a talk is long overdue too." Sam grinned. "But I won't ask you to retire."  
  
"I know, but if it's a choice, you or the SGC, then I'm afraid it's already been made." Jack grinned and Sam responded by leaning in and kissing him chastely.   
  
As Sam pulled away she noticed that one of their party was missing, glancing up towards the stage she nudged Jack and they both sat in wonder at Jonas, who was scrolling though the song collection.  
  
"Oh no..." Sam and Jack whispered together as Jonas picked up a microphone.  
  
---------------------------  
  
"Hello ladies and gentleman, a song was dedicated to me early this evening so I've decided to return the favor." Jonas said with his ever-present grin on his face. He looked down at Janet, who sat right below him before continuing, "This song is dedicated to a special woman in my life, who, without, my life wouldn't be complete."  
  
Suddenly music began to play and Jonas started belting one of the most famous songs in the world.   
  
"When a man loves a woman  
  
Can't keep his mind on nothin' else  
  
He'll trade the world  
  
For a good thing he's found  
  
If she is bad, he can't see it  
  
She can do no wrong  
  
Turn his back on his best friend  
  
If he puts her down  
  
When a man loves a woman  
  
Spend his very last dime  
  
Trying to hold on to what he needs  
  
He'd give up all his comforts  
  
And sleep out in the rain  
  
If she said that's the way  
  
It ought to be  
  
When a man loves a woman  
  
I gave you everything I had  
  
Tryin' to hold on to your precious love  
  
Baby, please don't treat me bad  
  
When a man loves a woman  
  
Down deep in his soul  
  
She can bring him such misery   
  
If she plays him for a fool  
  
He's the last one to know  
  
Lovin' eyes can never see  
  
When a man loves a woman  
  
He can do no wrong  
  
He can never own some other girl  
  
Yes when a man loves a woman  
  
I know exactly how he feels  
  
'Cause baby, baby, baby, you're my world  
  
When a man loves a woman..."  
  
Jonas' song carried though the club beautifully, surprising his teammates with a soulful and astonishing voice. When the song ended, Jonas bowed before going back to his seat next to Janet, who was furiously blushing and attempting to hide it.  
  
She gave Sam a look from across the table that Sam had seen before; Janet was planning payback. Sam in turn looked at Jack, conveying what Jonas' song had just done.  
  
~Here we go...~  
  
//Dear God, it starts again...//  
  
Teal'c looked between the two "couples" at his table before looking down at his drink, sighing loudly for a Jaffa, "It begins again."  
  
---------------------------  
  
After Thought: There you go! The finale! I hope I didn't disappoint anyone; I've had this ending planned since Rachael gave me the idea for the setting and song. It's my poor attempt at humor :)  
  
I hope everyone enjoyed this series, the series that was never meant to be since I hadn't planned on doing another chapter after "Single White Female" let alone six. See what I do in the name of reviews? And as I've hinted to a few reviews, I wouldn't be against a sequel...hint hint. But if people do want a sequel I'm going to need some ideas / songs so please any ideas, send them my way!  
  
And thanks to everyone who's reviewed, giving me one of my most successful series yet, it means a lot to me and really inspires me.  
  
Love from,  
  
Cathain Nottingham 


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